My Not So Imaginary Rhino

So, I broke my arm last Tuesday saving a family of chipmunks from a giant grizzly bear. No, not really... I was actually arm- wrestling Arnold Schwarzenegger, and after I beat him I jumped up and went "woo hoo!" and slammed my arm into the ceiling. No, not really... I actually missed the landing when coming out of the back of a pickup truck while helping a neighbor move their new grill. But I was happy with how many kids at the schools I performed at this week chose the Arnold story when I gave them those options to choose from. Yeah, they know I could take the Governator...

I was a little worried when that happened as far as whether I'd be able to do my shows well enough in the coming weeks. Fortunately, The Invisible Band is versatile and able to cover for me on guitar for most songs, and I do have enough movement in my right hand to strum chords very feebly for a song or two each show, though I can't finger-pick like I usually would for things like "The Elephant Song". One problem is that I can't really clap my hands (well, I can but it hurts like heck and you can't really hear any "clap") or hold a leaky squirt gun or do a few of the other things that would normally be part of my show. Thankfully, my wife, Roseann, is a great costume designer and is willing to be a mascot performer when needed, and she happened to have a nice new rhino costume that we'd used for some recent school promotions, so she did a great job filling in and helping out. (Many thanks also to Rachel from the Auburn library for helping to watch our girls while Roseann was busy rhino-ing, and thanks again to SunWest Sportswear for the cool T-shirt for the rhino.) I'm not sure that the rhino will be able to appear for all of my upcoming gigs, but it did buy me some time to adjust my show as needed and gain a little more strength in the arm.

So I have to apologize again for the lack of updates here. I did have a list of new features ready to go including John Hadfield, Mr. Billy, Johnny Bregar, Monty Harper and Randy Newman. But then of course this happened and it's really tedious to type with just one hand, especially when that hand is your left hand and you're not left-handed. I did find a really cool voice recognition program online that translates your speech into text, so I'll be using that for the next while to get some things done. The program works really well but it does have to get used to your speech patterns, and it doesn't do the best job with things like people's names, so I have to go back and edit a few things. For example, here is what this previous phrase was supposed to be - So I have to apologize again for the lack of updates here. I did have a list of new features ready to go including John Hadfield, Mr. Billy, Johnny Bregar, Monty Harper and Randy Newman. And here's how the program translated that section - Zeile left of college as a gang for the lack of tape here any analyst and it features ready to delegate in John Hatfield Mr. Killeen Johnny breakdown money harbor and randy Manning. Actually, to be honest, that's what happened when Roseann did it... It has learned my speech patterns pretty well by now and so it got that part very close when I originally dictated it (the only differences were "Johnny Brady Are" instead of Johnny Bregar and "Mr. Bailey" instead of Mr. Billy). But her version was a lot funnier and indicative of how these programs can function until they learn your voice, or until you learn to slow down your speech and be very deliberate with your articulations.

Anyway, I have a lot to be grateful for, particularly that the injury wasn't worse... I landed on my back, but my arm slamming into the ground first broke the fall enough that my back didn't sustain the brunt of it. Also, when I was called to go help my neighbor, I had just been recording the final guitar parts for my upcoming album, so that can still go out soon without further delays. I have many supportive people and rhinos around me to make sure I can continue doing what I need to do. And I got this really awesome itch stick from the hospital. Ahhhhhh, that's the spot!